We Don’t Grieve as the World Grieves

This flower is called a Black-Jack and is in the Daisy family.

Disclaimer: (This could be a trigger warning for some.)

Also, this post has not been edited. I'm just getting it out and then I'll fix it later.

Someone told me that they were seeing these daisy flowers everywhere. That they usually grow around or on top of gravestones and they are a symbol of death. Only he's chosen to see them as a symbol of resurrection instead.

After hearing that I have been seeing them everywhere and I'm a bit upset that just one conversation amplified the presence of such a beautiful, but a small plant. Grief is not an easy thing to experience or process. We were never meant to experience it in the first place.

The first time I ever had to experience grief was when my brother Landon died in his sleep in 2010 because of a drug overdose. At that time, I was 11 years old and all 15 of my brothers and sisters were home.

I remember getting to the bus stop and walking towards the house with the few siblings who were in public school. On the front steps were my parents. Waiting...

I vaguely remember sitting on the couch and floor with all my siblings around and then my mom told us the news that our brother was gone. After that, it's all a blur of family and friends visiting. Then we had an open casket funeral in New York at our church in Akron. I remember taking one look and quickly leaving to find somewhere away from everyone and then I let myself break down. Later on, we had another funeral service in Florida.

Something to note: I didn't realize this until August of 2022,(that's for another story) but while everyone chose to be homeschooled after Landon's death, I insisted on staying in public school.

I believe that was the last time I shed a tear until the year 2017. Up until then, for seven years, I believed that Landon wasn't saved and at some point, I'd completely suppressed my memories of him and the events that had occurred surrounding his death. For seven years, I watched how the death of one son could affect an entire family.

In 2017, I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Brazil for 3 months and helped out a missionary family of 11 (now 12). I was able to sit in on the Bible college classes that were translated into English and Portuguese and serve with the students with different local or distant outreaches. Every day, I was able to hear from the Lord, and my relationship grew.

On a Wednesday, we went to a church service but found out the assistant pastor's wife had committed suicide and her son was the one to find her. The whole atmosphere was very heavy and I was immediately overcome by an overwhelming sorrow and desire to pray for that son, so I did. I was left in tears and I was afraid for that man's life and for my parent's health as they were not doing so well at the time.

I ended up leaving early with a friend named Joybeth who traveled to Brazil with me and the accountant of the Bible School. I was so filled with fear that I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know why.

At some point, Joybeth called Dani, the wife and mother of the missionary family we were staying with, and explained the situation. Dani then got in contact with my mom and after they conversed told Joybeth to play a random song that I was somehow supposed to recognize. Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape - Underoath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZOwB_gaJ1A

She explained that the song was one of Landon's favorites and that it was played at his funeral but I had no memory or recollection of the event at all. I knew it had happened, but that was it. As the song played it was almost as if my memories burst out of a vault. Time 2.54

It was then that I found out that my parents believed and confirmed Landon had gone to heaven because of the events and conversations that he had with them leading up to his death. As I look back today, I believe one of the many reasons God directed me to Brazil was so that I could properly grieve my brother. In conclusion, we don’t grieve as the world grieves, but what does that mean? What I mean by this is that as Christians, followers of our Lord Jesus Christ, we have hope, "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16). Death has lost its sting, and the grave no longer has a hold on those who are alive or asleep in Christ. The dead are no longer dead, but asleep waiting for the coming of the Lord, which is when Jesus comes back for His Church! I don't need to grieve as the world does because one day I WILL be with my loved ones seated at the feet of Jesus. "He will wipe every tear from their (our) eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelations 21:4)

13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)